Who are you becoming because of what you have had to overcome?

I wonder if it is a typical Question unique to Western culture: What do you do? It is so deeply predictable isn't it? Some people do not like this question for any number of reasons. It feels too surface or too shallow. It may feel that I am being measured and valued purely for something external. How do people answer this predictable inevitable question who are feel out of sync deep inside their job, their family even, their social circle if you have one.

How about people who live or exist in some kind of marginalised 'life' and do not measure up to what the culture implicitly says this is what you need to be successful and to be accepted? How do they answer the question

What do you do? This is the starting point for Western culture- it evaluates and judges by something external to your inner being, external to the person you have become through some kind of pain and suffering. What if we were to change the question? After all, we are able to if we choose to. What do you do?

Who are you becoming?

How about we change the question to 'Who are you becoming'? The question still contains four words, but it shifts the bottom line from 'do' to 'becoming'. Now of course people can become what they do. But it kind of causes to stop and think a bit. It is relatively easy to answer in relation to what you do. I work at or with....I am a....I....finish the sentence.

Becoming' implies your ongoing development as a person, in relation to several other factors. How your core values have changed, or the state of your inner world. Is your inner world greater than your external world? Another factor to the dynamic journey of 'becoming' is what you have had to overcome from your story. Everyone has had to overcome something or someone.

If we still carry historic wounds for example, it could possibly mean you are not connected with who you are becoming. Factors like unmet needs in childhood, experiencing trauma, especially in our formative year's which can be defining. Loss or abandonment or abuse. Growing up in an environment where we were not truly 'seen' safe or valued.

Wounds can show up in how we talk to ourselves, the patterns we keep repeating in our lives or the ways we avoid vulnerability. We can notice and observe the voice of our historic wounds in our relationships, or sense of self-worth, the ways we are still 'triggered' by stressful situations. The ways that we react do not mean that we are fundamentally flawed, it simply means that something needs attending to.

Healing historic wounds takes a journey, a definite commitment and it can feel daunting. But taking this journey is taking it a step at a time and clarifying within a safe relationship/environment what area needs addressing at any given time. If you have a bruise on your arm, it feels sensitive and you don't want to be too near to people in case they get too near your bruised arm.

But how you answer the question 'Who are you becoming because of what you have had to overcome' can indicate where you are on the journey of becoming.