What we believe we are does not happen in a vacuum independent of relationship. For we are all shaped by people, experiences and our core beliefs and values, especially our 'non-negotiable's.
I was sitting on a comfortable chair in a corner of a large lounge, it was so quiet it could have been a retreat. I drank from this well of peace. The corner chair sat by the window and the sun poured in. I 'stumbled' across a statement almost by 'accident'. 'How you picture God in your heart of hearts matters, really matters'.
Whoa. Words have the power to stop you in your tracks, grab you by the throat and force you to stop and think, really think of their message. The question then becomes 'Do I have ears to hear'? The alluring, captivating statement enticed and wooed me into asking God the question. 'How do I really picture you in my heart of hearts Father' I asked adding the word 'really' for emphasis.
'How you picture Me in your heart of hearts is what will determine HOW you walk through the unknown and the uncertain'. The trapeze artist has a moment when he is suspended in mid air and he must surrender, be still and trust that he will be caught, for if he flaps about anxiously it will be messy and painful. You are in that moment Nigel and feeling stretched by the unknown and the uncertain'.
Then He said 'I use the man who has nothing else to cling to but Me....what are you clinging to Nigel'? Finally, the Spirit of God said 'you can only fly by stepping out into the unknown'. Flying into the unknown is me starting a niche ministry that I have felt summoned to from the depths of my being. It has taken many years, because I had to learn to live a 'dying life' and embrace brokenness, and to realize that my life is meant to reflect the death, resurrection and ascension of Jesus.
Questions: How do you picture God in your heart of hearts? Can you be still in your heart and trust? Can I? What are you clinging to apart from God?
'Truth, like surgery, may hurt, but it cures'. Han Suyin